Monsters, Predators and child sex abusers.

Monsters, Predators and child sex abusers.
The lurid headlines of last week, has given us the impetus to use them as a springboard to possible discussion about the use of
language regarding abusers.
We cringe when we see or hear the word "Monster" or
"Predator" or other similar terms used to describe people who have sexually abused children. We fear that the media's, legislators',and others' use of these terms help to keep the general public pointed in the wrong direction (e.g. - toward strangers or people who are not more socially mainstream) and not toward where the greatest and most common threat of sexual abuse to children exists -- toward people within the nuclear and extended family and within the family's social circle. Also that violent sexual crime is what happens overshadowing the fact that most often neither is it violent or rare. On the other hand it is the repetitive, pre planned sexual acts across a spectrum, on a child and within the context of grooming. A key to ensuring silence and non disclosure.
We also worry that when parents use these terms in discussions with or in front of their kids to describe abusers, or when kids hear them used on the news, or on TV shows, it may contribute toward their not disclosing abuse or attempted abuse by a relative or friend of the family, or may counteract other positive sexual abuse education they have received that encourages disclosure.
It seems like these terms are emotionally satisfying for adults who
are upset and angry (understandably), and for the media and
legislators who seek publicity and headlines, but are not helpful
toward protecting kids from sexual abuse.
Tulir's perspective is that the more we can calm the language down, the more we can frame it as a mental health and public health issue, the greater success we can have in pointing people in the most protective direction
(with inputs from Wendy Murphy)

For anyone who cares about child protection

A great video to help start the conversation with kids on personal safety! Don't put it off; there is no option

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-5mdt9YN6I&feature=player_embedded

Incest does not recognise any demographic or topography

 Rather every country has an incest problem. India does not have a definition of incest but still the Crime Review of India published by the National Crime Records Bureau has three pages devoted to the number of reported incest cases! As you can imagine, the numbers are very low since the interpretation of incest is understood differently by the individuals collating the data

 http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2013/01/america-has-an-incest-problem/272459/

America Has an Incest Problem

By Mia Fontaine

Tweet inShare Jan 24 2013, 11:59 AM ET People are rightly horrified by abuse scandals at Penn State and in the Catholic church. But what about children who are molested by their own family members?

David McNew/Reuters

Last year offered plenty of moments to have a sustained national conversation about child sexual abuse: the Jerry Sandusky verdict, the BBC's Jimmy Savile, Horace Mann's faculty members, and a slew of slightly less publicized incidents. President Obama missed the opportunity to put this issue on his second-term agenda in his inaugural speech.
Child sexual abuse impacts more Americans annually than cancer, AIDS, gun violence, LGBT inequality, and the mortgage crisis combined—subjects that Obama did cover.
Had he mentioned this issue, he would have been the first president to acknowledge the abuse that occurs in the institution that predates all others: the family. Incest was the first form of institutional abuse, and it remains by far the most widespread.
Here are some statistics that should be familiar to us all, but aren't, either because they're too mind-boggling to be absorbed easily, or because they're not publicized enough. One in three-to-four girls, and one in five-to-seven boys are sexually abused before they turn 18, an overwhelming incidence of which happens within the family. These statistics are well known among industry professionals, who are often quick to add, "and this is a notoriously underreported crime."
Incest is a subject that makes people recoil. The word alone causes many to squirm, and it's telling that of all of the individual and groups of perpetrators who've made national headlines to date, virtually none have been related to their victims. They've been trusted or fatherly figures (some in a more literal sense than others) from institutions close to home, but not actual fathers, step-fathers, uncles, grandfathers, brothers, or cousins (or mothers and female relatives, for that matter). While all abuse is traumatizing, people outside of a child's home and family—the Sanduskys, the teachers and the priests—account for far fewer cases of child sexual abuse.
To answer the questions always following such scandals—why did the victims remain silent for so long, how and why were the offending adults protected, why weren't the police involved, how could a whole community be in such denial?—one need only realize that these institutions are mirroring the long-established patterns and responses to sexual abuse within the family. Which are: Deal with it internally instead of seeking legal justice and protection; keep kids quiet while adults remain protected and free to abuse again.
Intentionally or not, children are protecting adults, many for their entire lives. Millions of Americans, of both sexes, choke down food at family dinners, year after year, while seated at the same table as the people who violated them. Mothers and other family members are often complicit, grown-ups playing pretend because they're more invested in the preservation of the family (and, often, the family's finances) than the psychological, emotional, and physical well-being of the abused.
So why is incest still relegated to the hushed, shadowy outskirts of public and personal discussion, particularly given how few subjects today remain too controversial or taboo to discuss? Perhaps it's because however devastating sexual molestation by a trusted figure is, it's still more palatable than the thought of being raped by one's own flesh and blood. Or is it?
Consider how the clergy abuse shook Catholics to their core, causing internal division and international disenchantment with a religion that was once the bedrock of entire nations. Consider the fallout from Sandusky's actions and Penn State's cover-up, both for students and football. Consider how distressing it is for Brits to now come to terms with the fact that the man they watched every night on TV in their living rooms was routinely raping kids just before going on air.
Given the prevalence of incest, and that the family is the basic unit upon which society rests, imagine what would happen if every kid currently being abused—and every adult who was abused but stayed silent—came out of the woodwork, insisted on justice, and saw that justice meted out. The very fabric of society would be torn. Everyone would be affected, personally and professionally, as family members, friends, colleagues, and public officials suddenly found themselves on trial, removed from their homes, in jail, on probation, or unable to live and work in proximity to children; society would be fundamentally changed, certainly halted for a time, on federal, state, local, and family levels. Consciously and unconsciously, collectively and individually, accepting and dealing with the full depth and scope of incest is not something society is prepared to do.
In fact society has already unraveled; the general public just hasn't realized it yet. Ninety-five percent of teen prostitutes and at least one-third of female prisoners were abused as kids. Sexually abused youth are twice as likely to be arrested for a violent offense as adults, are at twice the risk for lifelong mental health issues, and are twice as likely to attempt or commit teen suicide. The list goes on. Incest is the single biggest commonality between drug and alcohol addiction, mental illness, teenage and adult prostitution, criminal activity, and eating disorders. Abused youths don't go quietly into the night. They grow up—and 18 isn't a restart button.
How can the United States possibly realize its full potential when close to a third of the population has experienced psychic and/or physical trauma during the years they're developing neurologically and emotionally—forming their very identity, beliefs, and social patterns? Incest is a national nightmare, yet it doesn't have people outraged, horrified, and mobilized as they were following Katrina, Columbine, or 9/11.
A combination of willed ignorance, unconscious fears, and naivete have resulted in our failure to acknowledge this situation's full scope, but we can only claim ignorance for so long. Please reread the statistics in this post, share them with people you know, and realize that each and every one of us needs to pressure the government, schools, and other systems to prioritize this issue. Let's make this the last inaugural address in which incest and child sexual abuse are omitted, because the way things are now, adults are living in a fantasy land while children are forced to slay the real-life demons.

Dumb Charades

Silence is often the only sound a child who is being sexually assaulted makehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=d31GbzRvrr8

Why men should be offended

Janet Rosenzweig: The Sex-Wise Parent - Conversations from Penn State

Prevent Child Abuse America's Dr. Janet Rosenzweig, author of The Sex-Wise Parent, talks human sexuality and child sexual abuse prevention on Conversations from Penn State.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=F_ENKbrYaVU

Your ignorance is their power

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7uUDb7JV0k&feature=colikehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7uUDb7JV0k&feature=colike

Are you smarter than your cell phone?

Add caption

Thanks Young World, The Hindu for recognizing and publishing a poster on Cell Phone Safety on the occasion of the World Day for the Prevention of Child Abuse. While digital technology is great, it also has a flip side and is changing the way child abuse is committed

You know them, but does your child know them better than you

We will not be able to prevent offenders from abusing our kids unless we know what to look for. We have tobe vigilant about their patterns - breaking the rulesof usual adult child interactions and overstepping boundaries. Understanding how offenders groom the community to gain access to our children is just as important as it is for us to educate our children.

Eliminating or reducing one on one

situations will significantly lower the risk of the risk of children being abused. Even with education, parents can not expect kids alone to be able to protect themselves from the grooming of an offender.

Parents need to get comfortable talking about child sexual abuse and engage other adults in their community!

"The frequency and circumstances surrounding child sexual abuse is only recently being understood. Parents and organizations must be united, creative, and caring to prevent it. It means being determined to ask questions and require protection even when it feels uncomfortable. It means being a voice for children’s safety because it matters for a lifetime." Darkness to Light Stewards of Children

Keep rape out of politics and politics out of arpe

http://crcvc.ca/2012/10/29/keep-rape-out-of-politics-and-politics-out-of-rape/

Keep Rape Out of Politics and Politics Out of Rape

October 29, 2012

By Anne Seymour and Dean Kilpatrick, Ph.D.

It simply boggles our minds and breaks our hearts that rape has been far too casually leveraged within the realm of politics in our country.

For the millions of women, men and children in America who are victims of rape and sexual assault, the psychic wounds of victimization seldom heal.  Every time rape is dismissively discussed by people who have no clue about this crime and its tragic effects, the potential for survivors’ wounds to reopen is huge.
NEW RULES:  If politicians insist on merging rape with politics, they must first commit to visit a rape crisis center.  They must spend a day on the hotline, listening to survivors who are simply terrified, whose lives have been irrevocably altered, who fear reporting these horrific crimes because they also fear theywon’t be believed and will be blamed, who are shocked at the thought of being exposed to life-threatening diseases and getting pregnant.  Then they must spend time with victim advocates who, despite severe budget cutbacks that have decimated their programs, help rape victims try to make sense of a senseless, violent crime over which they had no control, and try to help them cope with the devastating psychological, physical, financial, spiritual and social impact of sexual assault.  They must then make an actual effort to distinguish that along with their right to freely comment on rape goes the responsibility to recognize that their comments will emotionally shatter many of the millions of women, men and children who have been victimized by a crime that too many politicians simply don’t understand.
Don’t parse the definition of “rape.”  When you insist that only some rapes are “forcible,” you infer that other rapes are what?  Voluntary?  That’s just uninformed and insensitive. Face it: rape is rape, regardless of however else you may want to characterize it.
Don’t compare rape to bad weather or making lemonade out of lemons, or any other comment that only demonstrates your ignorance about the violent crime of rape.  That’s just stupid, and it makes you look stupid.
Don’t proclaim that anyone’s God has any “intent” related to rape or its distressing consequences.  That may be your opinion, but please know, convincingly and clearly, that your words risk further hurting victims whose spirituality doesn’t include a Higher Being who sanctions rape or its catastrophic and personal impact on them.
Don’t say your words were “taken out of context” or “misunderstood.”  It’s not your words that were twisted, but your attitude. We get you.  We understand you. What we don’t get or understand is your ignorance, and your lack of initiative to learn about rape.
And if you insist on merging rape with politics, we offer one important exception.
Why not do it in a way the actually helps and doesn’t harm rape and sexual assault survivors?
Why not pass S. 1925, the real Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act when Congress comes back after the election?  VAWA, after all, received overwhelming bi-partisan support for its initial passage in 1994, and for its reauthorizations in 2000 and 2005.  2012 marks the first year that VAWA failed to receive bipartisan support from the Senate Judiciary Committee, not to mention the U.S. Congress as a whole.  This is a national shame.
We and countless other crime victim advocates would welcome the “positive politicizing of rape” with the immediate passage of VAWA.  Just as we’d welcome individual and collective efforts across our nation that attempt to come to real terms with a real violent crime that has real, painful consequences for its victims.
For additional information about efforts to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act in the U.S. Congress, visit http://4vawa.org/ .
Anne Seymour has been a national crime victim advocate for 30 years. 
Dr. Dean Kilpatrick is a Distinguished University Professor at the Medical University of South Carolina, and Director of the National Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center.

Another tool to disrupt the journey of UK TSO's

International Child Protection Certificate

A criminal records check for UK nationals and others working abroad

Many international schools and child-focussed charities operating around the world employ UK nationals as teachers, workers and volunteers.  For the first time, a police criminal records check is now available for UK nationals who are working or seeking employment overseas to work with children.
In a joint initiative, CEOP and ACRO have developed the International Child Protection Certificate (ICPC) as a means to better protect children from convicted UK child sex offenders who are seeking employment that will bring them into close contact with children.
The ICPC is a criminal records check against police and intelligence databases in the UK that would reveal any convictions or reasons as to why someone should not work with children.  It is similar to the CRB check that is required for anyone working professionally with children in England and Wales.
The ICPC provides reassurance to those in positions of responsibility in overseas schools and other child focussed organisations that those whom they employ do not have a criminal record in the UK which would otherwise make them unsuitable to work with children.
The ICPC can be requested for existing employees or during recruitment.
The certificate contains a person’s complete conviction history, as recorded on police central records, including ‘spent’ and ’unspent’ convictions. Additionally, the certificate contains criminal conviction information about offences committed in other foreign countries where such information has been disclosed to the UK through existing exchange mechanisms.
The ICPC will help organisations to make informed decisions on a persons’ suitability for employment or continued employment in positions that provide regular access to children.
To register your organisation with the ICPC initiative or if you are an applicant wishing to obtain an ICPC, please click on this link below
www.acro.police.uk/icpc
Press Notice

Tulir invitation - Launch of Publications by AALI

Of abstract notions and the actual realities

In the abstract we abhor sexual abuse of children but in reality we have a very high tolerance of it.
This article gives a very good idea about grooming,  the process of  grooming( which is the crux of abuse) and  and the way it envelopes kids.
The purpose of grooming is to reduce the likelihood of disclosure, the likelihood of the child being believed, the likelihood of being detected,to manipulate the perceptions of the adults around the targeted child, to manipulate the child  into becoming a "cooperating"participant - creating a context of complicity and therefore increasing the chances of a continued relationship with the child
http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2012/09/24/120924crat_atlarge_gladwell?currentPage=all

Roots and Wings

And pls don't prune or clip them to suit your ideas, belief and value systems. Just nuture

The Hindu interview with Dr Peter Choate

Towards a safer society for juveniles

HEMA VIJAY

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• 
  Ensure an Environment: That's filled with happiness, not trauma
• 
  Dr. Choate

Are juvenile sex offences on the rise? What role do accountability and therapy play in tackling the problem? Canada-based lecturer and social worker Peter W. Choate addressed these issues in a talk in the city

Reports of schoolchildren raping a classmate, or older children sexually molesting younger children are not unheard of. In fact, about one-third of child sexual abuse is by juvenile offenders. This is the bitter reality, the world over.

Handling it can be tricky, but it is crucial for all concerned — the victim, the offender and for broader community safety as well — that the juvenile sex offender is not just held accountable but is also given reformative therapy. Peter W. Choate, lecturer, Mount Royal University, Canada and a social worker who has enormous experience in handling juvenile sex offences was in the city recently to deliver a lecture on ‘Juvenile Sex Offending – Understanding and Accountability’ facilitated by Tulir – Centre for Prevention and Healing of Child Sexual Abuse. Excerpts from an interview.

How crucial is it to hold the offender accountable?

If the offender is not held accountable, it would mean that the victim has undergone the traumatic experience of revealing the offence to no positive effect. So then, why would the next victim come forward to reveal the offender’s name?

Does a juvenile sex offender go on to become a serial sex offender?

Most juvenile offenders are single or few-occasion offenders. It is only a small group among them who continue and become serial offenders. There are assessment tools which can differentiate between the two groups. It is also possible to gauge an offender’s mindset. Serial offenders don’t have empathy for the victim. They deny or minimise their responsibility in an offence. And if the offender blames the victim, then you know he might repeat it.

The first group understands they have committed an offence, feel guilty, and are receptive to intervention and reform. The serial offending group thinks, ‘My mistake is in getting caught’. I understand reformative therapy for juvenile sex offenders is underdeveloped in India, but it can be very effective.

Why should a juvenile sex offender be given attention? Shouldn’t the care be focussed on the victim?

While research varies, it is estimated that around 60 per cent of juvenile offenders have themselves been victims of sexual or physical abuse, in the past. When you give the offender therapy, it helps him come to terms with the abuse he faced and handle it better; it also helps him reform and the community is protected thereby. Even with offenders who have not been victims themselves, therapy could keep them from creating more victims in the future.

Describe the therapy protocol that ought to be given to a juvenile offender.

Every culture and country needs to find its own solution which should include prevention, intervention, and healing, all of which are so crucial.

We should get a clear history of the offender, find out his vulnerabilities and the root cause for these and heal them. Therapy should teach impulse control, problem-solving, and increase self-control and self-regulation. It should get the offender to relate to what the offence does to the victim. Therapy includes counselling, social education, followed by supervision for some years with the offender reporting to the social worker. The high risk group which don’t understand that they have committed an offence may have to face closer scrutiny by the courts and possible imprisonment.

If a juvenile has committed a sexual offence, what should be done next?

It is hard for families to learn that their child has committed a sexual offence. They feel they have failed.

But if they have the best interests of their child in mind, they should give him therapy. Though it is not easy, with therapy, many juvenile offenders do get over it and back to normality.

Does public notification help?

Public notification can make the problem worse and it defeats the objective of rehabilitation.

About child sexual offence by siblings...

It happens. Don’t downplay it. If you downplay it, you are sending the message that ‘It is okay’, and that he can continue with it, with the same person or with others.

On female juvenile offenders...

It's more prevalent than we think. One reason might be that females don’t brag about their offence.

Is juvenile sexual offence on the increase, or is it just more reported now?

We really don’t know. Data is emerging as more cases are reported. But if we keep seeking solutions that fit our culture, we make progress towards a safer society for our juveniles. Change is a slow process, and it requires the ability of the community to talk about it. 

 http://www.thehindu.com/life-and-style/society/article3844030.ece

Is there anything more to be said?

Why they are called TSO's and why it's important to disrupt their travel plans.

Here we go again - Quick facts
-In 1995 Achtergael from Belguim was sentenced for the first time to seven years in prison after he was found guilty of raping and sexually assaulting five underage boys from his family
- Four years later he was released for good behaviour
- Eventually in 2001, decided to go to India, where he work

ed in Kerala, as a youth coach for promising young footballers and was also employed in a shelter for homeless children in Vizag. His friend here had also been convicted of child sexual abuse earlier and has subsequently been arrested again on child pornography charges
- Accidentally found in 2009 in his bank vault in Leuven Belgium, were photos and cd's involving three young Indian footballers who had been photographed and filmed while asleep
- His defense while admitting the facts partly. "I have touched children but I do not feel I've made victims."
- subsequently In March 2012, sentenced him to 30 months in prison.
- However before he could be jailed, fled to Madagascar and then Malta from where he was finally arrested last week.

http://www.independent.com.mt/news.asp?newsitemid=149407

http://www.maltatoday.com.mt/en/newsdetails/news/national/Wanted-Belgian-paedophile-captured-in-Gozo-to-be-extradited-today-20120811

 

The Sixth Annual Tulir - CPHCSA Lecture

Sexual assault online hotline - free, confidential and secure

When it's too hard to say the words out loud, chat online with a RAINN staff member — anonymously-  online.rainn.org

It's never too late to get help.

Connecting the Dots – Program Series to Address Sexual Violence against Children

Hello!

A society’s integrity and worth is not based on whether cases of   sexual  violence against children happen. Instead it is based on the acceptance of the possibilities of  occurrence and proactive steps taken to  both safeguard and respond in a timely and appropriate way to ensure that its children may benefit from its caring and foresight to truly have the right to be safe all the time, everywhere.

Tulir - Center for the Prevention and Healing of Child Sexual Abuse is organizing Connecting the Dots – Program Series to Address Sexual Violence against Children

 between  August 10 – 18, 2012 at Chennai,   and which will be in English. Since limited seats are available, participants will be selected based on their completed  application forms (Please request  the Application form from the email mentioned below) which  will be accepted up to Aug 8. Participants will be informed of their acceptance  within a day of Tulir  receiving the application. Venue particulars   and registration timing will be given   on confirmation of acceptance of participation. 

Participants will have to make their own travel and accommodation arrangements . Refreshments  will be provided during the workshop

Please contact tulircphcsa@yahoo.co.in or call 26192026 (10 am - 6 pm, Monday – Friday) for further details. We will be glad to clarify any other related queries and  encourage you to share this information with others who you think may be interested

 Thanks
 Tulir

S. No	Dates	Topic	Timing
	Aug 10, Fri	Navigating the criminal justice system. How do the number’s add ? – Interpreting the figures on crimes against children and Introduction to POCSO 2012	10am - 5pm
	Aug13 Mon	Understanding the dynamics of child sexual abuse for effective prevention and response.	10am – 5pm
	Aug 14  Tues	Child Sexual Abuse Prevention through Personal Safety Education – an Introduction	9.30am -1pm
	Aug 14 Tues	Using Bible Based Curriculum for Preventing and Healing Child Sexual Abuse	2pm – 5pm
4a	Aug 14 Tues	Understanding issues of digital  safety with children and young people	2pm- 5pm
	Aug16 Thurs	An introduction to   psycho-social interventions	10am – 4.30 pm
	Aug 17th - 18th Fri & Sat	Using the Traumagenic Dynamic Framework to assess  pre- and adolescent girls who have been  sexually abused	10am -4.30pm

 

         

1.With the multi disciplinary team approach increasingly being recognized as most effective in addressing crimes against children, it is important that NGO’s are  also well equipped to work on cases holistically, with other team members integral to  legal redress. Besides,  a better understanding of the various issues related to  engaging with the  labyrinth of  the Criminal Justice System (CJS) in responding to sexual violence,  it  is also critical  to their   effective support of  child victims. Furthermore since many NGO’s are also involved in training various stakeholders, they  need to be familiar with  Navigating the CJS.

Considering the recent trend of  greater reporting of crime against children and  the changing nature of the crimes being reported it is  necessary  to understand the range and extent of violence against children  besides  reviewing the presentation of data being collected.  How do the number’s add ? – Interpreting the figures on crimes against children seeks   to better inform concerned stakeholders on the current  categorization, collation and compilation of crimes against children.

A  presentation on the highlights of the Protection of Children from Sexual Offenses (POCSO) 2012   which received Presidential assent in June 2012,  will wrap up the seminar which  is in partnership with   the Police Training College, Chennai

2.The orientation  to Understanding  the dynamics of Child Sexual Abuse  and their convergence to form a composite picture,  would lay the foundation on which participants could develop a knowledge base to further work on the subject of child protection either in terms of policy planning, program development or skill enhancement.  The outcome would be an increased awareness which would help with the  appreciation,  that  prevention or responding to child sexual abuse does  not only involve  the child  but  also   the entire community.

3.With the objective of empowering  primary school going age  children to safeguard themselves against CSA, the workshop on CSA prevention through Personal Safety Education  is to provide  participants with an understanding of  age-appropriate  information and   the accompanying   non-threatening methods to convey it while utilizing   a variety of resources developed specifically for this purpose  . 

4. The workshop on Bible-Based Curriculum to Prevent and Heal CSA (using the book co-authored by the facilitator) is an effort to make use of faith-based resources to address the issues of Child Sexual Abuse. It avails of  the usual format of Vacation Bible School with suggested Biblical texts for each lesson, with accompanying verse and activities, which covers a specific topic of the main theme.

4a..Information and  Communication Technology (ICT) offers exciting possibilities for transforming learning, civic engagement, innovation, entrepreneurship and much more. And it is young people everywhere  who are at the forefront of embracing the  potential these opportunities present. However   ensuring the engagement of  young people’s   experiences with new technologies is enjoyable  and their well being protected  is  directly related to their ability to use them safely and effectively.  The presentation, Understanding issues of digital safety of children and young people  will give participants   a broad understanding of the  risks - exposure to age-inappropriate, illegal, and harmful material, being subject to harassment and  intimidation(cyber-bullying),  prone to being tricked into downloading viruses and spyware  etc.. Additionally   considering the urgency the situation warrants, refinement of these threats to children’s rights to protection from violence, abuse and exploitation facilitated by ICT’s  sources will be deliberated..

5.Against the context of the ecological model, socio-cultural  realities  and from a mental heath and therapeutic   perspective, the presentation  on An introduction to   psycho social interventions would give participants  an overview of the concerns  and variables involved,  to address  effects of sexual abuse on the well being of a  child who has been sexually abused  and their family. Discussion would be around case study reviews and  examples of activities related to case presentations.  

6. The  workshop on Using the Traumagenic Dynamic Framework to assess  pre- and adolescent girls who have been  sexually abused  would build on  the understanding acquired, to  further the process of a Healing Plan. Dr. Lois J. Engelbrecht, will lead the workshops . Since founding the nonprofit Center for the Prevention and Treatment of Child Sexual Abuse in 1993, she has helped create systems of prevention and response in the Philippines, Malaysia, China, India, Saudi Arabia, and Vietnam. Read more about Dr Engelbrecht at http://www.waldenu.edu/About- Us/42022.htm

1998 Chennai - 2012 Guwahati. Has anything changed?d?

Are there any efforts to involve boys and young men in understanding their role in sexual harassment?
But Sarita's unnecessary death did not go in vain, at least legally. Tamil Nadu now has the Prohibition of Sexual Harassment Act. But then again that has not really deterred boorish lots from continuing with their sexual harassment or encouraged young women from taking a stance Click on the following link to know why
http://hindu.com/2002/08/07/stories/2002080707750300.htm

Children with disabilities more likely to experience violence

GENEVA ¦ 12 July 2012 - Children with disabilities are almost four times more likely to experience violence than non-disabled children, according to a review commissioned by the World Health Organization (WHO) and published today in the medical journal The Lancet.

Findings from the review indicate that children with disabilities are: 3.7 times more likely than non-disabled children to be victims of any sort of violence; 3.6 times more likely to be victims of physical violence; and 2.9 times more likely to be victims of sexual violence. Children with disability associated with mental illness or intellectual impairments appear to be among the most vulnerable, with 4.6 times the risk of sexual violence compared with their non-disabled peers.

The review provides the strongest available evidence on violence against children with disabilities. The 17 studies included reflect data from 18,374 children with disabilities from high-income countries - Finland, France, Israel, Spain, Sweden, the United Kingdom, and the United States - underscoring the urgent need for high-quality research in low-income and middle-income countries.

  

"The results of this review prove that children with disabilities are disproportionately vulnerable to violence, and their needs have been neglected for far too long," notes Dr Etienne Krug, Director of WHO's Department of Violence and Injury Prevention and Disability. "We know that specific strategies exist to prevent violence and mitigate its consequences. We now need to determine if these also work for children with disabilities. An agenda needs to be set for action".

Factors which place children with disabilities at higher risk of violence include stigma, discrimination, and ignorance about disability, as well as a lack of social support for those who care for them. Placement of children with disabilities in institutions also increases their vulnerability to violence. In these settings and elsewhere, children with communication impairments are hampered in their ability to disclose abusive experiences.

Certain nurse home visiting programmes for children at risk of violence and trainings to improve parenting skills have been shown to work to prevent violence against non-disabled children. These and other promising measures outlined in WHO's Preventing child maltreatment and Violence prevention: the evidence should be implemented for children with disabilities, and their effectiveness evaluated as a matter of priority.

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities reinforces the need to protect the rights of children with disabilities and ensure their full and equal participation in society. This includes avoiding the adverse experiences resulting from violence in childhood which are known to have a wide range of detrimental consequences for health and well-being later in life. When prevention fails, care and support for children who are victims of violence are vital to their recovery.

The WHO/World Bank World report on disability outlines what works in improving health and social participation of children with disabilities and promotes deinstitutionalization. For children with disabilities who are currently placed away from home, strengthening their care and protection by tackling institutional cultures and structures that exacerbate the risk of violence is an imperative.

"The impact of a child's disability on their quality of life is very much dependent on the way other individuals treat them," stresses Dr Mark Bellis, Director of the Centre for Public Health at Liverpool John Moores University, a WHO Collaborating Centre for Violence Prevention, and lead researcher on the review. "It is the duty of government and civil society to ensure that such victimization is exposed and prevented."

For more information, please contact:

Tarik Jasarevic, Communications officer, Geneva,

Telephone: +41227915099;

Mobile: +41793676214;

Email: jasarevict@who.int 

Related links

 

The Lancet (Prevalence and risk of violence against children with disabilities: a systematic review and meta-analysis of observational studies)

 

Preventing child maltreatment: a guide to taking action and generating evidence  

 

Violence prevention: the evidence

 

Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities

 

World report on disability

Meet pedophiles who mean well

  http://www.salon.com/2012/07/01/meet_pedophiles_who_mean_well/

Sunday, Jul 1, 2012 06:30 AM IST

The men behind VirtuousPedophiles.com are attracted to children but devoted to denying their desires

(Credit: iStockphoto/xrrr) Nick Devin is a happily married man in his mid-60s with four grown children. “I have advanced degrees from prestigious universities, a very good job, a lot of friends and am well-respected in my community,” he writes on his Web site. “In short, I have a very good life.”
But he’s also a pedophile. While he experiences some attraction to adult women, he only fantasizes about pubescent boys — and none of his family or friends know. He says he’s never acted on his desires, though.
Devin is the co-founder of a new organization for men like himself: Virtuous Pedophiles. “We do not choose to be attracted to children, and we cannot make that attraction go away,” reads the group’s Web site. “But we can resist the temptation to abuse children sexually, and many of us present no danger to children whatsoever.” The goal of the organization is to offer support to pedophiles who want to live virtuously and to raise public awareness about the fact that such pedophiles exist.
It’s hard to know just how many there are of these “gold-star pedophiles,” as sex columnist Dan Savage calls them. James Cantor, a clinical psychologist and editor in chief of the scientific journal “Sexual Abuse,” says, “In my clinic, roughly half of the people who commit an offense against a child is pedophilic. We do not know, however, how many pedophiles there are who never commit any offenses and never come to our attention.” That’s because very few pedophiles will voluntarily out themselves, given the stigma; and due to mandatory reporting rules, which are open to interpretation, non-offending pedophiles can reasonably fear being reported to the police.
Ethan Edwards, the 57-year-old co-founder of Virtuous Pedophiles, is attracted to girls as young as four and has sexual fantasies about them, but says he’s never abused a child. “I basically have no problem avoiding abusing anyone,” he told me. “That’s just not an issue. When I’m with a child, I’m attuned to her and could never lose sight of the danger to her of anything I did.”
Our conversation took place through Google chat because he feared that a telephone interview might expose his true identity. (Edwards is a pseudonym, and so is Devin.) Even still, he asked me to promise that I wouldn’t turn our chat over to “hacker types” who could determine who he is.

Edwards, who raised three daughters of his own but never experienced any attraction to them, says he would never cross that line, “even if there was a zero percent chance I would be caught,” because of the damage it could do to the child. His ultimate sexual fantasy takes place in an alternate universe of sorts where children can actually give meaningful consent.
Devin, who was himself sexually abused as a child, similarly explains his ability to resist his desires. “I recognize that sexual contact with a child can be harmful to the child, and I’ve always been firmly committed to making sure that nothing I do will ever harm a child,” he told me in an email. “I refuse to let my problem become someone else’s problem.” It doesn’t hurt that he’s “always had a very good life — lots of friends, close family, loving wife and children, academic accomplishments, athletic accomplishments, a good career.” There is too much to lose.
“My sexuality has never been the central part of my life,” says Devin. “It kind of remains in a box inside my head but never controls me, and I go about my life.”
Cantor believes that a group like Virtuous Pedophiles could help prevent child abuse. “It is hard to imagine someone who would feel more isolated than someone who recognizes he is sexually interested in children. In my experience, it is in those phases of greatest desperation that a pedophile is most likely to do something desperate, risking harm to a child,” he says. “Mutual support among people who share the same daily battle with their own desires can go a long way in addressing the extreme isolation, serving as a potential pressure valve, adding layer of protection, helping pedophiles to keep their behaviors under control.”
Support is a major aim of the site, beyond even raising awareness in the outside world. Devin and Edwards posted an anonymous plea on the site from a 20-year-old man struggling with attraction to young girls. “I wish with all my soul that I could have a brain that’s wired normally,” he writes, and goes on to explain that he’s scared of seeing a therapist for fear of being reported. “Even the friendships I have are in danger of falling apart because I can’t just keep saying ‘I’m fine,’ and I can’t talk to anyone about my problem. I think about suicide a lot.”
“Almost any group in the world can hold a convention, look out on a sea of faces, and say, ‘these are people like me,’” says Edwards. “We can’t.”
There is plenty of community to be found online for pedophiles who are not so adamant about the harmfulness of child abuse. The message board BoyChat is filled with justifications for adult-child sexual contact, and commenters recently caught on to the existence of Virtuous Pedophiles. “[T]his site promotes self-hate,” said one commenter. “Personally, not only do I find it offensive, it is quite slanted towards the idea that mutually willing sex with kids is harmful,” said another.
Devin doesn’t have much sympathy for this point of view. “The problem is that even if the pedophile thinks the kid is enjoying it at the time, he may be wrong. Remember, the pedophile is prejudiced here; he wants to think the kid is enjoying it. Moreover, even if the kid is enjoying it at the time, he can still be harmed.” He points to a case where a pedophile had sex with a kid and thought he was enjoying it. “A few years later, the kid jumped off a bridge.”
Edwards wants to shine a spotlight on the sort of pedophiles that don’t make the evening news. “I hope people start to realize that virtuous pedophiles exist,” he says, and “that many are no danger and should not b

e branded as dangerous without evidence.”

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/12/how-should-we-talk-to-boys-about-sexual-abuse/

June 12, 2012, 3:21 pm 43 Comments

How Should We Talk to Boys About Sexual Abuse?

By KJ DELL'ANTONIA

Have you talked with your sons and daughters about the Jerry Sandusky case, and if you have, what did you say? Opening arguments in the trial against Mr. Sandusky, along with Amos Kamil’s New York Times Magazine story this weekend about sexual abuse at the Horace Mann School in New York City, have me revisiting what I’ve said to my children — in particular, my oldest son.
“When I was at Horace Mann,” Mr. Kamil wrote, giving a little back story on the 6th Floor blog, “all of these stories were swirling around us. Some of it was rumor, some of it was conjecture, some of it was latent homophobia.” Thirty years and more after the fact, the young men at the center of some of those stories shared them with Mr. Kamil (although he writes that young women, too, suffered at the hands of the teachers and administration at Horace Mann, those aren’t the stories he tells).
It’s the “latent homophobia” Mr. Kamil describes that leaves me wondering if saying the same things to my son as I do to my daughter about sexual abuse is enough. I can talk about inappropriate touching, I can talk about it being fine to leave anyone and anywhere that makes them uncomfortable. I can talk about how if they come to me, at any time, I will believe them, and I will protect them.
But is that enough to say to a boy who might feel that even being approached suggests something about his own sexuality? That “latent homophobia” that I suspect still prowls middle- and high-school halls has a power that could keep a boy silent, and that silence is something that many men victimized by sexual abuse at Horace Mann to any extent, even those who defied their would-be abuser and walked away, tell Mr. Kamil that they regret.
I know that there’s plenty of pressure to keep a girl silent, too — even, to some extent, the fear that “she asked for it” by being too sexy too young. But is “too sexy” a self-flagellation with a different spin than “secretly gay?”
I asked Dr. Richard Gartner, a past president of Male Survivor and the author of “Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life After Boyhood Sexual Abuse,” if a boy who feared that something “gay” about him provoked an abuser’s approach might be more reluctant to tell an adult what had happened. “What,” I asked, “do we need to be saying to our sons that we aren’t?”
One thing, he said, would be to make sure a boy knows  that “it’s natural to get aroused when stimulated — that’s what happens when boys’ bodies are touched or otherwise put into sexual situations. It does not mean you wanted it to happen, or even that you really enjoyed it. … I would say to boys that abusers choose boys for reasons other than whether they think the boy is gay or not. That straight boys are chosen as much or more than gay boys, and even abusers usually say that they themselves are not gay.”
That’s a little different from something I might say to my daughter — but the more I consider it, the less different it feels. A girl, too, might blame herself for her body’s response, and surely every victim of abuse struggles with why they were “chosen.” I’m left thinking not that I need to talk to my sons differently than my daughters, but that I probably need to talk more, and more clearly, to both.

Teachers guilty of child abuse to face dismissal

 http://www.thehindu.com/news/states/tamil-nadu/article3574030.ece

"It's now up to all of us, to make sure that schools are held accountable and educated about this GO "

Teachers guilty of child abuse to face dismissal

Meera Srinivasan

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Teachers indulging in child sexual abuse will, henceforth, be punished with compulsory retirement, removal or instant dismissal.

A government order issued by the School Education department states that it might go to the extent of cancelling all academic credentials of such teachers to ensure that they do not get to work elsewhere as a teacher. Though the order was issued on May 17, it is available in public domain only now. Asked if teachers were aware of it, senior officials said the message had been circulated around in the beginning of the new academic year. According to the GO, schools will have to hold awareness programmes to educate children on dealing with such situations. Teachers will be asked to attend sensitisation programmes, where counsellors will address them.

The department will launch mobile counselling centres to create awareness among students and teachers.

According to a department senior official, Chief Minister Jayalalithaa, in a recent review meeting, emphatically stated that no teacher found to have sexually abused a student should be allowed to continue in service.

The move sends out a strong message to all schools, including private ones, that child sexual abuse is a serious crime and will be dealt with severely. activists working in the area of child rights and prevention of child sexual abuse felt that the government must, in addition to the GO, lay down the protocol to investigate such cases.

According to sources, a teacher who was found guilty of abusing a student in Tirunelveli was merely transferred. On Monday, parents protested outside Panchayat Union Middle School at Vadugapatti near Namakkal, demanding that an English teacher who allegedly abused girl students be dismissed.

http://edition.cnn.com/2012/06/20/living/give-grandma-hug-child/index.html

I don't own my child's body

By Katia Hetter, CNN

June 21, 2012 -- Updated 0109 GMT (0909 HKT)

Some experts advise parents not to make their children hug and kiss relatives, so children will feel in control of their bodies.

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• Katia Hetter does not tell her daughter she must hug or kiss visiting relatives
• The Sandusky case solidified her resolve to let her child make choices about her own body
• A personal safety expert agrees that children shouldn't be compelled to touch anyone

Editor's note: Katia Hetter is a travel writer for CNN. She also covers parenting and relationship issues.

(CNN) -- My daughter occasionally goes on a hugging and kissing strike.

She's 4. Her parents could get a hug or a kiss, but many people who know her cannot, at least right now. And I won't make her.

"I would like you to hug Grandma, but I won't make you do it," I told her recently.

"I don't have to?" she asked, cuddling up to me at bedtime, confirming the facts to be sure.

No, she doesn't have to. And just to be clear, there is no passive-aggressive, conditional, manipulative nonsense behind my statement. I mean what I say. She doesn't have to hug or kiss anyone just because I say so, not even me. I will not override my own child's currently strong instincts to back off from touching someone who she chooses not to touch.

I figure her body is actually hers, not mine.

It doesn't belong to her parents, preschool teacher, dance teacher or soccer coach. While she must treat people with respect, she doesn't have to offer physical affection to please them. And the earlier she learns ownership of herself and responsibility for her body, the better for her.

The trial of Jerry Sandusky, the former Penn State football coach accused of sexually abusing young boys, has only strengthened my resolve to teach my kid that it's OK to say no to an adult who lays a hand on her -- even a seemingly friendly hand.

Sandusky's comments on child rape allegations

"When we force children to submit to unwanted affection in order not to offend a relative or hurt a friend's feelings, we teach them that their bodies do not really belong to them because they have to push aside their own feelings about what feels right to them," said Irene van der Zande, co-founder and executive director of Kidpower Teenpower Fullpower International, a nonprofit specializing in teaching personal safety and violence prevention. "This leads to children getting sexually abused, teen girls submitting to sexual behavior so 'he'll like me' and kids enduring bullying because everyone is 'having fun.' "

Protection against predators

Forcing children to touch people when they don't want to leaves them vulnerable to sexual abusers, most of whom are people known to the children they abuse, according to Ursula Wagner, a mental health clinician with the FamilyWorks program at Heartland Alliance in Chicago. None of the child victims of sexual abuse or assault she's counseled was attacked by strangers, she said.

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Sometimes a child picks up on something odd about your brother-in-law that no one knows. It may not be that he's a sexual predator. He may just have no sense of boundaries or tickle too much, which can be torture for a person who doesn't like it. Or he may be a predator.

"It sends a message that there are certain situations [when] it's not up to them what they do with their bodies," said Wagner. "If they are obligated to be affectionate even if they don't want to, it makes them vulnerable to sexual abuse later on."

Why wait until there's trouble? Parenting coach Sharon Silver worked hard to cultivate her children's detector. Silver says her sons easily pick up on subtle clues that suggest something isn't quite right about particular people or situations.

In your child's case, it may be that something's off about Aunt Linda or the music teacher down the street.

"It's something inside of you that tells you when something is wrong," said Silver. Training your child to pay attention to those instincts may protect him or her in the future.

Having sex to please someone else

Would you want your daughter to have sex with her boyfriend simply to make him happy? Parents who justify ordering their children to kiss grandma might say, "It's different."

No, it's not, according to author Jennifer Lehr, who blogs about her parenting style. Ordering children to kiss or hug an adult they don't want to touch teaches them to use their body to please you or someone else in authority or, really, anyone.

"The message a child gets is that not only is another person's emotional state their responsibility but that they must also sacrifice their own bodies to buoy another's ego or satisfy their desire for love or affection," said Lehr.

"Certainly no parent would wish for their teenager or adult child to feel pressure to reciprocate unwanted sexual advances, yet many teach their children at a young age that it's their job to use their bodies to make others happy," she said.

We can't be rude

You might think my daughter's shiftless parents are not teaching her manners, but that's not true. She will shake your hand in greeting or give you a high-five when we're saying goodbye. She knows how to set the table and place a napkin in her lap. She even has me saying a little all-inclusive blessing she brought home from school.

We've trained her to say please and thank you so often that she'll say it back to me when I ask her anything. "What did you say?" I sometimes ask her when I didn't hear her. "Please?" she'll answer. No, I meant what did she actually say? (Maybe we're overdoing it.)

Once a cheater, always a cheater?

She has to be polite when greeting people, whether she knows them or not. When family and friends greet us, I give her the option of "a hug or a high-five." Since she's been watching adults greet each other with a handshake, she sometimes offers that option. We talk about high-fives so often she's started using them to meet anyone, which can make the start of any social occasion look like a touchdown celebration.

"When kids are really little and shy, parents can start to offer them choices for treating people with respect and care," said van der Zande. "By age 6 or 7, even shy kids can shake somebody's hand or wave or do something to communicate respect and care. Manners -- treating people with respect and care -- is different than demanding physical displays of affection."

It creates more work

Refusing to order her to hand out hugs or kisses on demand means there's more work to keep the relationships going and keep feelings from being hurt. Most of our extended family live far away, so it's my job to teach my kiddo about people she doesn't see on a daily basis.

We make sure to keep in contact with calls and Skype and presents. In advance of loved ones' visits, which usually means an all-day plane ride, I talk a lot about how we're related to our guests, what they mean to me and what we're going to do when they arrive. I give them plenty of opportunity to interact with her so she can learn to trust them.

I explain to relatives who want to know why we're letting her decide who she touches. And when she does hug them, the joy is palpable. Not from obligation or a direct order from Mom.

And while I hope I'm teaching my child how to take care of herself in the future, there are benefits to allowing her to express affection in her own way and on her own timeline. When my child cuddled up to my mother on the sofa recently, happily talking to her about stories and socks and toes and other things, my mother's face lit up. She knew it was real.

Did your parents make you hug and kiss relatives? Are your kids required to give grandma a hug? Share your experience in the comments section below.